Donald Trump Must Die
by LolitaArmin129
Summary: Donald Trump has found away into the SNK world and has taken over Historia's place as ruler, making him king of the walls. Now it's up to Eren, Armin,and Connie to set things right and kill him once and for all!
1. Chapter 1

(A/N: well people welcome to my first ever crack fic "Donald Trump Must Die!" Mistress Of Fire had suggested that I try writing something that involves Donald Trump getting killed in SNK, so here if this weirds you out then blame her! X-D lol jk jk! Seriously though Mistress! Thanks for giving me this idea!

Warning:so much OOCness it's not even funny

Disclaimer:I do not own SNK/AOT)

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It was another peaceful day at headquarters and since everyone had the week off from missions, they just sat around outside enjoying each other's company. Eren was repeatedly punching a torn up Titan plushie hanging on a tree, Mikasa was with Jean somewhere and Armin was busy brushing his hair with his manly glittery pink hair brush for the 15th time that day while reading a COVERGIRL magazine

"OMG GUYS GUESS WHAT!? GUESS WHAT!?" Connie yelled running over to Eren and Armin. "What?" Armin asked looking up from his fashion magazine."Donald Trump poisoned Historia and made himself king of the walls!" Connie replied."ARE YOU SHITTING ME!?" Eren retorted. "How'd that ass hole even _get_ into our world!? He's not even an anime character!"

"I shit you not" Connie said."Historia's been at home all day puking her guts out more than an anorexic chick" he said. "Oh my gosh!" Armin said dropping his magazine. "I know! it's terrible!" Connie replied. "Ummmm LIKE,YEAH IT'S TERRIBLE! THAT BITCH IS GETTING TOTES SKINNIER WHILE I'M GETTING FATTER!" the little coconut whined in a valley girl tone.

"Ugh Armin calm your man Tits.." Eren groaned." NO! no I will NOT CALM MY MAN TITS!" Armin shrieked."NOW I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO FIT MY FAT ASS INTO MY NEW PINK BIKINI WHEN I FINALLY GO TO THE OCEAN!" he cried with mascara dripping down his face."wait..you have a _bikini?_ " Connie asked sweatdropping. _"Why?"_

"Like, to show off my hot shota-licious body ofcource!" Armin smiled holding up a tiny pink string bikini. "Isn't it adorbs!?" He asked. Eren and Connie both paled at the bikini. "okay you know what? let's just go kill Donald Trump before I puke" Eren said."ayyyeeee we bout to go whoop some ass!" Connie said putting on his 3DMG. "I'm coming too!" Armin agreed getting up and grabbing his swords.

The three boys then made their way over to the horse stables to look for some spare horses to sneak out with."there must be some horses in here somewhere" Eren mumbled looking around. "Hey! I think I hear one over here!" Armin said pointing a pink polished nail over to a large barrel of hay."neighhh!~" They heard the horse say.

"Come here Mister Horsey!" Àrmin smiled scurrying over near the giant bale of hay. He paled and shrieked however, when he was finally close enough to see what was really behind it."EEEEEEEKKKKKKK! MY EYES~! MY FABULOUS BLUE EYES!" he screamed running back over to Connie and Eren."yo man what's your problem?" Connie asked.

"JEAN AND MIKASA ARE OVER THERE FUCKING EACHOTHER THAT'S WHAT'S WRONG!" Armin said throwing a hissy fit. "OMFG MIKASA! JEAN! WHAT THE HELL?" Eren and Jean poked their heads out from behind the barrel of hay blushing."er..hi guys" Mikasa said blushing and covering her lady bits in shame."get the fuck out Jeager! Can't you see I'm trying to bone your hot sister here!?" Jean snapped.

"Fuck up Horse shit!" Eren snapped." The only reason we're in here Is because we needed one of your brethren for a ride!" Mikasa looked up at her adoptive sibling in interest now."you guys need a horse? Why?" She asked."so we can like totally kill go Donald Trump ofcource!" Armin explained. "Donald Trump? You mean that asshole who's running for president in the real world? How the hell did he even get in our anime!?" Jean asked zipping his trousers back up.

"We're not sure" Connie responded."all we know is that he gave Historia major food poisoning and took her place as ruler" he explained. "That's just wrong" Jean said. "Sorry guys but Erwin, Levi and Hanji took the last of them not too long ago" Mikasa explained."well that's just great!" Eren growled in exasperation."now how are we going to get there!?"

A light bulb then appeared over Armin's head as if remembering something. "OMG! OMG! Ohhh emmm Geeeeee!" Armin said squealing in delight like a cheerleader."what the fuck Armin!?" Eren asked. "I know how we can get there!~3" Armin replies dragging the other two boys out of the stables. Once they were outside, Connie and Eren were dragged near a large contraption covered by a giant white tarp underneath some trees.

"Annnnd this is?" Connie asked raising an eyebrow. Armin eagerly ripped the tarp off revealing a shiny hot pink Jeep. "Ta-Da!" Armin smiled sitting on the hood. "Like it?" Eren and Connie's eyes widened in surprise. "Hold up is that _Panty and Stocking's_ car!?" Connie asked taking another good look at it. "Yup!" Armin proudly declared.

"How the heck did you even get it!?" Eren wondered."it's a long story" Armin shrugged. "Please don't tell us you had a threesome with them" Eren stated. Armin's face burned an incriminating shade of red at this."oh my God did you really!?" Connie asked."n-no..." Armin replied turning redder and quickly looking away now."OH MY GOD HE DID!" Eren exclaimed breaking out into a fit of snickers now.

"Oh just shut up and get in the car" Armin retorted. Eren and Connie grabbed their weapons and did as they were told."dayum! and which sexy angel owned _these?_ " Connie blushed picking up and sniffing pair of sexy pink panties in the backseat. "Oops! Uh.. actually those are mine" Armin replied smiling sheepishly.

Eren howled with laughter as Connie paled, dropped the underwear and started throwing up in a nearby bush."Armin! You need _Jesus!_ " Connie groaned popping in a breath mint once he got done vomiting his breakfast. Armin then slipped on some hot pink pleather driving gloves and tied a matching hot pink ascot around his neck. "Ready bitches?" He asked smirking and revving up the engine.

"Yup!" Connie and Eren replied."alrighty then! Off we go!" And with that Armin,Eren and Connie quickly sped off to the direction of Historia's castle.

"Man what a couple of idiots!" Jean said watching them leave."yes, but they're my idiots.." Mikasa sighed sweatdropping.

(A/N: well that was chapter 1! Look out for chapter 2)


	2. Chapter 2

(A/N: In which our three heroes continue their quest to take out the evil Donald Trump!)

Chapter 2

Eren and Connie were going to seriously strangle Armin with his ascot if he didn't stop blasting and rapping along to that God damn Nicki Minaj CD of his! They have been on the road for about an hour now and he has not stopped rapping _yet!_

 _"Wobbledy wobble, wo-wo-wobble, wobbin'_

 _Ass so fat, all these bitches' pussies is throbbin'_

 _Bad bitches, I'm your leader, phantom by the meter_

 _Somebody point me to the best ass-eater_

 _Tell 'em "Pussy clean!" I tell 'em "Pussy squeaky!"_

 _Niggas give me brain 'cause all of them niggas geeky_

 _If he got a mandingo, then I buy him a dashiki_

 _And bust this pussy open in the islands of Waikikiiiiii...~!"_ the blonde boy sang happily making Eren's eye twitch.

"If I hear one more verse I'm going to scream" Connie hissed from the backseat.

 _"Lick my ass and my anu-"_

"GRR THAT'S IT!" Taking out one of his blades, Eren jumped into the front and stabbed the radio repeatedly, scaring Armin and shutting the music off. _"finally!"_ Connie sighed in relief. "OH MY GOSH EREN NO!" Armin cried as his best friend continued to mutilate the radio."NO ONE HERE WANTS TO LICK YOUR ASS ARMIN!" Eren growled.

"Now take this god damned CD out and shut the fuck UP!"

Armin looked up at Eren with big teary shojo eyes with his lips trembling. "B-but Eren!" The little strategist protested. "Nicki Minaj is my _IDOL!"_ He whimpered hugging the CD to his chest protectively with mascara running down his face.

"Well find a new damn idol that's not rapping about pussy and ass!" Eren spat. "Uhh guys?" Connie piped up. "You might want to look" he said pointing to the gas meter. Armin and Eren paled as they watched the arrow slowly point from Full to Empty. "Eh heh heh oopsie..looks like Panty and Stocking forgot to give this some gas again.." Armin said scratching the back of his head sheepishly. "Sorry"

"Oh just great!" Connie groaned. "Leave it for Shota Barbie to score a car with no gas!"

"Well, it looks like we're just going to have to walk" Eren sighed." _walk!?"_ Armin shrieked in disbelief."yeah, it can't be that far right?" Eren asked. "Eren my feet are too _fabulous_ to be walking! I just got a pedicure yesterday and I am _not_ trying to mess it up!" Armin protested."Alright well what do you suggest?" Eren asked.

"Like, all we have to do is just flag someone down! Then once we do that we can see if they can give us some gas" Armin replied. "Hmm okay!" Eren said nodding in agreement. "Yeah, it can't be that bad right? Let's do it!" Connie exclaimed.

-30minutes later- 

"GRR WHY WON'T SOMEONE PULL OVER GOD DAMMIT!?" Eren roared trying to flag someone down with his jacket. The three boys tried everything they could to get a passerby's attention but each time they tried something they were ignored."this is getting us nowhere.." Connie sighed in exasperation taking his shirt off."AND IT IS TOO HOT FOR THIS SHIET!" it was 80 degrees today, so they were all quite hot right now.

"Well, got anymore ideas Armin?" Eren pouted sitting under a tree where some shade was at. Armin was currently holding his hair back in a glittery pink hair tie fanning himself in the car. looking up, he seen a group of four teenage girls in a car in the distance driving in there direction. "Hmmm I believe I do.." Armin smirked giggling.

Eren and Connie's eyes widened in disbelief as Armin started to undress himself leaving nothing but his pink ascot on tied around his neck. "ARMIN WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!?" Connie blushed covering his eyes. "I'm like, totally getting their attention duh!" Armin replied letting his hair back down. Crawling on the hood of the jeep, he got in a very promiscuous pose and held up a cardboard sign that said _**"PLEASE NOTICE ME SEMPAI !"~3**_ In bold black letters.

The car immediately screeched to a very loud halt once the passengers caught sight of Armin. Eren and Connie's jaws dropped to the ground once this happened."well I'll be damned.." Connie muttered. "Holy _shit_ son.." A girl with giant boobs, giant pink pigtails and glasses whispered popping her head out of the car to stare at Armin.

"Are you guys lost!?" A ditzy looking chick with freakishly large boobs, and long yellow hair asked blushing and giggling at Armin. Armin bit his lip and blushed looking as coy and sexy as possible making every girl in the car get a raging non existent hard on."well you see my two friends and I ran out of gas on our way to go kill Donald Trump, and now we're stranded out here in this totally _hot_ weather!" He explained. "Is there any way for you to possibly help us?" He asked batting his eyelashes.

A girl with long light brown hair pulled in a half ponytail giggled and smiled at the nude coconut."I believe we can work something out hun..." .

-5 minutes later-

"Thanks for giving us a lift guys!" Connie said sitting in the back seat with Armin and Eren. "Yeah we really appreciate it!" Eren nodded. "Well it would have been pretty terrible if you cuties just got stranded out there like that!" The blonde woman with the abnormally large boobs said holding Armin in her lap. He purred in pleasure as the woman brushed his hair.

"So who are you guys anyway?" The pink haired girl asked. "Ah well that's Connie, I'm Eren, and that's Armin!" Eren replied. "We're on a quest to go kill Donald Trump!"

"Ahh I heard of you guys! Aren't you three from that one anime with the killer giants?" The ditzy blonde asked looking down at Armin. "Yup! that's us Hun!" The Shota replied."we're from High School Of The Dead!" The brown haired girl retorted."no way!you mean that Zombie porn anime!?" Connie asked. The pink Pigtailed girl snorted. "It is _not_ porn!" She shot back."our horny creators just felt the need to draw us like a bunch of fucking porn stars is all" She grumbled under her breath.

"Well that explains all of the guns they have in here" Eren whispered to Connie. "Yeah no kidding" the bald male replied."and all of the blood splatters son the car" he added. "I'm Saya" the pink girl said. "That's Rei" she said pointing to the orange brown haired girl."the ditzy blonde bimbo in the back holding your little friend is Nurse Shizuka, and the quiet little samurai chick up here Saeko" Saya said introducing them all.

"It's a pleasure to meet you" Saeko calmly greeted giving the three guys a soft smile."like, it's nice to meet you Saeko!" Armin chirped."your uniforms are sooooooo cute!" He said getting starry eyed. "Totes sexy!" He winked. "Well thank you, you're quite a cute little soldier yourself" Saeko smiled petting Armin.

"So what's this about you three wanting to assassinate that Donald Trump guy?" Rei asked driving the car."well you see a friend of ours is supposed to be the queen of our kingdom but he ended up poisoning her and taking her place" Eren explained."yeah,so now the little hoe is at home bent over the toilet, getting skinnier and sexier as we speak" Armin grumbled.

"It's nice how you guys are helping out your friend" Saeko nodded."true honorable men indeed"

"Well if they're going to kill the asshole, then they better do it with some better weapons, cause those blades are _not_ going to cut it" Saya scoffed."what do you mean!?" Connie asked feeling offended now. "What you guys already got is _okay,_ but you could definitely do better!" Rei said."How?" Eren asked cocking an eyebrow."oh you'll see"

-45 minutes later-

"Thanks for letting us borrow your guns guys!" Eren grinned bidding the HOTD girls farewell. "It's no problem!" Rei smiled from the car. "And thanks for the super cute uniform!" Armin squealed popping out of the car and twirling around fabulously in the exact same school uniform the girls were wearing. "you're welcome!" Nurse Shizuka giggled. "Good luck in your three's mission!" Saeko called back as they drove off leaving the boys behind.

"Well.. we've finally made it.." Eren gulped looking up at the castle.t he place appeared to be heavily guarded with military police giving it a rather intimidating appearance. They were most likely getting paid to be there."you guys ready?" He asked turning to Connie and Armin."hell yeah!" Connie grinned wildly loading his rifle. "Ready biyotch~3" Armin smirked loading his pistols.

"Alright... let's do this!" Eren shouted wrapping a camaflouge headband around his forehead. Grabbing some updated machine guns, him, Connie, and Armin went forth charging towards the castle.

(A/N: well that's it for chapter two! Stay tuned in for three!)


End file.
